The Husband Whisperer

Author: Kevin Kinckley

Publisher: CFI/Cedar Fort, Inc.

Published: March 2014

Paperback: 144 pages

Genre: Religious Nonfiction/Marriage

ISBN# 978-1-4621-1384-2

Reviewed by: Shanda

FTC FYI: free digital PDF copy from publisher in exchange for an honest review

Summary

Manipulation, threats, and anger only lead to harm and hurt feelings. Horse whisperers know that the best way to communicate in relationships is with a touch of gentleness. In The Husband Whisperer, Kevin Hinckley (MEd, LPC) shows women how to use their divine nature and to listen to the Spirit in order to bring peace into their marriages.

Review

Horse whispering has always fascinated me. I love watching horse whisperers at work. They have immense amounts of patience (which I don’t have) and a deep understanding of horses (which I also don’t have). They seem to know the animals better than the horses know themselves. They put themselves in the horses’ place, opening their hearts and minds to the needs and fears of some of God’s most beautiful creatures. In order to do what they do, they must love the horses, and put the animals’ concerns and feelings before their own desires to get the job done and get it done quickly.

Read that first paragraph again, substituting the word “husband” or “children” for horses, and you will understand where I was before reading The Husband Whisperer.

While I received encouragement to keep doing what is working in my marriage relationship, I was even more inspired to apply these principles to other relationships in my life, particularly my children–especially my teenagers. In fact, I believe a more appropriate title for this book would be The Family Whisperer, or even The People Whisperer.

When I first started reading The Husband Whisperer, I expected it to be more of a specific and detailed situational how-to book. For example, when your hubby does this, this is what he was thinking, and now you understand him better. In actuality, it is more personal and inspiring to me than that formulaic example. Through an easy-to-read, personable writing style and a touch of humor, the author strives to help women recognize their value and worth. He encourages women to see their divine nature and understand that their role is equally important in marriage as their husband’s role.

I appreciate how he explains, in scriptural context, that the term “preside” as used in The Family: A Proclamation to the World means to “watch over” rather than be the big boss man (my words, not the author’s).  I love his example of a fortress with two leaders of equal rank. One is charged with maintaining the outer defenses and watching for dangers, the other is responsible for the care of the people and supplies inside the fortress. Both stewardships are equal in significance, neither role is less important than the other, each requires a different yet essential set of skills, and they cannot effectively fulfill their assigned roles without each other.

There is so much more here than marital counsel, which felt like a smaller though still important part of the book. The author focuses on spiritual subjects such as heavenly communication, forgiveness, self-image, having convictions, seeking the Spirit, and listening to the promptings of the Holy Ghost. All of these aspects play an integral role in how we see ourselves and how we interact with others.

The Husband Whisperer is not heavy on marital advice. It certainly isn’t a book on husband manipulation. Instead it encourages women to recognize their spiritual talents, their divine worth, and their immense influence on those around them. By developing the spiritual attributes in which women are physiologically designed to excel, we can exemplify love and strength. We can teach our children with conviction and with the Spirit. We can be husband whisperers, children whisperers, family whisperers, people whisperers.

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